The PAUSE

Live Long! Live Well!

“Doc, why do I suddenly feel more disconnected and irritable since hitting middle age? I swear I used to be more patient… and cuddly!”

THE CUDDLE HORMONE

A few weeks ago, Vicky and I tucked away into a tiny coffee shop in Rome, one of those spots that define old school, where the cups are mismatched, the chairs wobbly, and everyone seems to know each other.

At the table beside us sat an older Italian couple, no, not older than me, who couldn’t keep their hands off each other. They were laughing, leaning in close, whispering little secrets, basically, they were the stars in their own rom-com..

Meanwhile, the American couple next to them sat in monastic silence, scrolling their phones like eye contact required a permit. (For the record, Vicky and I were not the American couple.)

Watching the contrast, I couldn’t help thinking: Hormones! In this case, it's a hormone called oxytocin.​

Want to learn more about getting your cuddle back...Read On!

OXYTOCIN

“The Hormone That Makes Life Feel Like a Warm Hug”

Because we are, in many ways, walking reflections of our hormones, to live long and live well, we must also be the supervisors of those hormones. The problem? You can’t supervise what you don’t understand.

And in this case, if there were a hormonal difference between these two couples, the key player would be oxytocin, the connection hormone, the trust hormone, the “life feels good” hormone, the cuddle hormone. And let me tell you, if oxytocin were visible, that Italian couple would’ve been glowing like radioactive strawberries.

THE ANSWER TO YOUR QUESTION

In your case, and many more of us who are middle-aged, you feel more irritable or disconnected because being paused causes a significant shift in your ovarian (sex) hormones. Here’s the simple version: Menopause has nothing to do with how long it’s been since you had a period. The menopause you and I are discussing has to do with ovulating.

When estradiol drops just below the level needed to trigger ovulation, ovulation does not occur. Once ovulation stops, your other two ovarian hormones, progesterone and testosterone, drop sharply.

And when those three hormones decline, oxytocin, kicking and screaming, goes down with them. Oxytocin is the hormone that the Italian couple were emitting. I have heard many hormone gurus call it the Love Hormone.

So when oxytocin dips, you don’t feel as bonded, as patient, or as emotionally warm, not because something is wrong with you, but because your oxytocin is sinking with the ovarian hormone ship.

OXYTOCIN?

“I’ve heard of oxytocin. I think my doctor used it to induce my first labor. Is that the oxytocin you’re talking about? And if so, does it actually do anything besides kick-start contractions?”

I had to laugh, because the first time I had ever heard of oxytocin was during the birth of our oldest son. Back then, I thought it was simply “the labor hormone,” a biochemical shove designed to convince a reluctant baby that it was time to clock in for life.

Little did I know oxytocin is far more than a labor-inducing hormone. Labor is just one bullet point in its résumé. The real magic of oxytocin shows up long before and long after the delivery room.

DO YOU WANT A CLEAR PLAN FOR YOUR HORMONES?

If you’re ready to build the version of yourself you want as you age, let’s talk. No pitch, no pressure, just clarity, CLICK HERE and find a time to talk to me about living long and living well as we age. If you want to know how to get your cuddle back, read on!

WHAT OXYTOCIN REALLY DOES

Oxytocin outside of labor rooms is primarily known for making us bond with others. You know, feel more connected, safe, and calm with someone.

Scientifically, it tames our fight-or-flight hormone, cortisol, and by resetting cortisol, it improves trust, boosts our moods, and stabilizes metabolic balance: you feel in the moment and you're burning fat more efficiently.

MY NATURAL REMEDIES

Oxytocin rises with warmth, touch, closeness, trust, and bonding. The more micro-connections you create in a day, the more oxytocin flow, so, let's get it flowing. Do this today

• Hug
• Cuddle.
• Look in someone's eyes.
• Pet pets.
• Give sincere compliments.
• Be Intimate

MEDITERRANEAN OBSERVATIONS

You are reading this because you most likely want to live long and well. Science says the Mediterranean people do this much better than we do, so we should mimic their best habits. The observation we had of the Mediterranean people is one we all need to mimic. Mediterranean people eat their meals slowly, socially, loudly, and joyfully, causing oxytocin to practically go airborne at every table. Social connection is their secret longevity ingredient.

MY FAVORITE REMEDIES

My favorite remedy is embarrassingly simple:

Every morning, before I even think about getting out of bed, I wrap my arms around my wife and give her a long, unhurried hug, way past the 20-second mark science says it takes for oxytocin to be released. That hug is my oxytocin “ignition switch.” It’s how I set the tone for a day fueled by connection instead of cortisol.

And once I’ve jump-started the bonding system, I keep the oxytocin momentum rolling. Throughout the day, whether I’m shaking someone’s hand, gently touching someone’s arm, or just having a conversation, I make sure to look them in the eyes and if the occasion arises, I offer a sincere compliment. It’s incredible how fast a few seconds of genuine connection can light up your brain, and someone else’s, with a little bit of hormonal sunshine.

DO ME A FAVOR

I pour a ridiculous amount of time into this newsletter every week, because helping people crush their “third act” is what I’m wired for. If you know someone who wants to hit their 70s looking amazing and feeling unstoppable, forward this straight to their inbox with a note telling them to give it a read.

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FINAL THOUGHT

Wrapped up in Lisbon’s golden light, standing in front of the Arco da Rua Augusta, with Dom José, the statue in the background, watching over Praça do Comércio and yet somehow the most breathtaking view is the one right next to me. The Arco da Rua Augusta is Lisbon’s grand “welcome gate,” built to celebrate the city’s rebirth after the devastating 1755 earthquake. The equestrian statue of Dom José I, is significant because he was Portugal’s king during the 1755 earthquake.

🇵🇹 The Macs

Hormone and Weight Optimization Author and Coaches

​HOPE isn’t just a feeling. It’s a protocol

It's all about your hormones!

If you’re struggling to build the version of you that you want as you age, let’s talk. I’ll map out a personalized plan to get you there. No sales pitch. No strings. Just a clear path forward—free of charge.

​Schedule Your Free Consultation Here​

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Disclaimer:

The information provided in this newsletter is for educational purposes only and is not intended as medical advice. Always consult with your healthcare provider before starting any new supplement, including zinc, especially if you have a medical condition, are pregnant, or are taking medications. Individual needs may vary; this content does not replace the advice of a professional medical expert.

© 2025 Doc Mac Coaching. All rights reserved.​

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